Saturday, 30 April 2011


I’m not particularly a big fan of the institution of marriage but I do dream (literally) of a happily ever after. I am however a HUGE fan of weddings; they make my eyes excrete and result in a lot of sniffing whilst holding a handkerchief. The sniffing and sweaty eyes is not because I think that they couple who are exchanging their vows and starring lovingly into their partners eyes are making the biggest mistake of their life; NO! It’s because I believe the fairy tale ending for them. In that moment I see it in their eyes that they will live happily ever after. So, it needs no mentioning that yesterday being Kate… oh sorry, she is CATHERINE now... CATHERINE & WILLIAM’s wedding I was makaratasi (read an emotional wreck, of sorts anyway). The vows… the bride’s gown, the little girls and of course WILLIAMS BROTHER… Hmmmmmmm :-) (Shall we have him on a silver platter, please?)

Moving on, someone stated that men were created polygamous and that’s why Mohammed advocated for Muslim men to have four wives… I’m no guru of Islam, but long long time ago when I was in campus, my lecturer actually said there is no such thing… He claimed that Mohammed asked, “if it is hard enough to love ONE woman and all her drama, what about FOUR?”, again, I am no Islam guru… I stand to be corrected. 

Anyway, when I heard him say that men were created polygamous beings I sighed so loudly, he mistook it for a yawn. Let’s us not even go to how my eyes nearly got stuck in my sockets because of how hard I rolled them... That to me was just a bunch of BS! Why? Eeerrrm, let’s see!?! The Good Book - The Bible, one of my favorite books, says that when God created Adam and Eve, he took ONE RIB out of Adam and used it to make Eve. Is my point home yet? Yes? Good!... No? *Sigh*

ONE RIB, NOT TWO!!! Man was not created polygamous! Neither was a woman by the way since she was not molded from two halves of a rib from two different men. Besides, in the words of my friend Sandra: “Why would God be so CRUEL as to make a commandment against something He created?” Why would God, assuming that man was created polygamous, then give a commandment like, DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY? C’mon people!!! 

ONE RIB!!! That’s all you get! ONE RIB! If it isn't your ideal matching rib, suck it up! Life is not always about getting what you want but what you need; besides even donor organs sometimes resist the hosts' body for a few days before getting a hang of their new system!



If you have A RIB, enjoy it this weekend! 

On a lighter note,I have a niece, Leila. She is the happiest baby I know… YET, and  I have had the fabulous honor of baby-sitting this entire week. She has FOUR teeth! The joys of having a kid around the house… INCREDIBLE!!! Watching her eat her FEET this week… Well, *Utter bliss* 

Auntie Shilo loves you! :* 

Thursday, 21 April 2011

Tis the season to be THANKFUL :-)

I need to come up with a regular “schedule” for posting; maybe daily (yeah right!?! I’m no Mrs. Shakespeare), weekly, or monthly… But until then, the frequency of my posts will be as random as the contents of the posts themselves. So, kindly bear with me; still haven’t gotten my head around blogging.

I got this text yesterday:

“Niaje! Kama uko na number ya JC (Jesus Christ) mcall umshow asiende Salem. Wayahudi wameplan kummada. Mshow abaki Galilee hadi noma iishe. Sina credo but nimemflash. Manze jo, ASAP!”

Translation for my international readers (HA!!! Talk about having big dreams)…

“Hi. If you have Jesus’ number, please call Him and tell Him not to go to Jerusalem. The Jews are planning to kill Him. Tell Him to remain in Galilee until the plot for His death stops brewing. I don’t have credit but I have flashed Him. Please contact him ASAP!”

When I read this, I thought it was such a funny message, in a cool kind of way! It also got me thinking… If Jesus lived today, how many of us would have been on His side enough to call Him and tell Him about the plot of His death (this is of course assuming He was not ALL-KNOWING and therefore hadn’t dropped rather LOUD hints about His death)? If cell-phones existed then, do you think it could have changed the course of action? Would we have then had to die for our own sins and transgressions? (That would have been an awfully painful death by the way)… Whatever the case, I’m glad Jesus lived when He did! Mostly because at that time, God hadn’t created smart enough brains that created mobile phones, *Pheeewww*

I’m glad that God in all His awesomeness and kind nature gave up His only Son because of ish that I pulled in my past life. And it’s that unfathomable sense of gratitude that I have that makes Easter so special; at lease for me! It is a season (read weekend) to be repentant... but most importantly, tis the season to be THANKFUL because of the cross. It’s a season to be THANKFUL because except Abraham, I know not of any other FATHER who was or will ever be willing to give up His Son for mortal man’s sake. BE THANKFUL THIS EASTER!!! It’s a season to fall more in love with GOD & His SON. :-)

Have a really blessed & thankful weekend.

P.s. Jesus’ cell-phone number is in the Bible: Jeremiah 33:3 (TRUE STORY) :-)

P.s.s. For the dear love of God, if you must drink; Don’t drink and drive!

Monday, 18 April 2011


I voted for the new constitution on 4th August 2010, for reasons that I don’t wish to disclose… besides, this is not a political forum neither do I have to justify my right to vote as I please. Yes... RIGHT!!! We have RIGHTS & FREEDOMS in Kenya and with this document these RIGHTS & FREEDOMS are now more pronounced than before.

Today is a Monday. Like any other normal Kenya I experience serious Monday Blues… You know that thing where you wake up on Monday morning and wish that the weekend had dragged on and on and on and on and on and on and on… Especially if the weekend involved a group of girls toasting some lethal drinks because one of their own will be walking down the aisle this weekend. So I’m sure by now you understand just how dreary my Monday morning was.

I had to go deliver a letter for the boss. I walked into the recipients’ office and bureaucracy being what it is; the secretary refuses to sign for the letter because of a spelling error. I must have forgotten to mention that for unknown reasons the elevators at the office only work at 8 a.m, 1 p.m. and 5 p.m. So here I am, bored out of my mind and having gone down three flights of stairs, the secretary informs that she cannot sign for the letter because there was a spelling error. *MULTIPLE HARD BLINKS*

Whilst I try to explain to her it is nothing but a spelling error, walks in a gay man. Now, I should state that I have nothing against people who swing that way because they are as much human as I. But there was something about this guy. He looked like he’d just walked out of a movie scene. He had a grey suite on. Shinny grey. The collar of the jacket was covered in brown fur. I kid you not. FUR! His hair was all curled up, as though he’d applied Hair-glow. His nails all polished up in red. His shoes had a little heel and were super shiny... BLACK! Instantly, he sized me up and mumbled something about my legs. I quickly say thank you and proceed to deal with the secretary. Woman would not bulge for anyone… or so I thought. 

The gentleman who walked in began to quarrel her (of course after listening in on my monologue with the crazy secretary) about how inefficient and unrealistic her demands were (asking me to go back up three flights of stairs to correct the spelling error). It must have been his sexual preference that made her change her mind (I know it doesn’t make sense, but it’s the only reasonable explanation). She immediately signed for the letter and sent me away. On my way out, my “hero” pulls an Usher Raymond (please read O.M.G moment) and comments about my posterior. Dazzled, I looked behind and asked him if he is allowed to say such stuff considering he is… well, you know... he is GAY…
His response, “Oh, you must have thought that because of my dressing huh?”
My response: “Really?”
His response: “Yes”
My response: *HARD BLINK* “Eh, that’s a trick question. I plead the 5th
His response: “Good answer; because I just like to dress like this for fun on Mondays. It gets heads turning.”
My response (after a long stare): “So does that mean you get to say things about ladies legs and posteriors”
His response: “YES!”

I was in awe! The extremes people resort to so as to turn heads… and get people to draw conclusions about their sexuality… Talk about being crazy… or exercising one’s RIGHTS’ & FREEDOMS beyond imagination.

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Clothing Grass

Today, lets go to church...

Growing up, there was a nursery/sunday school rhyme that went something like: Why worry when you can pray? Why worry when you can pray? [Please note if you don't know this rhyme, there you were probably born in Kibaki's generation :-) or earlier] Anyway, Sunday was church day and I, through the Pastor of course, stumbled upon a verse in the Good book: Matthew 6:25-34. It is general gist of the scripture is God asking why you (and I) go through the trouble of worrying about our clothes, food or drink. HE just doesn't get it. God, clothes... get this, THE GRASS  [kinda makes you wonder what GRASS looks like when its NAKED]  :-) :-) :-) and HE feeds the birds of the air.  He is the ultimate provider, at least the scriptures say so.

In reality though, few people believe that God will provide for them, for whatever. Reason: Human beings are generally doubtful and like to worry and of course there are those who just don't believe in ultimate provision. Back to the scritpures, there last part says.. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

So you see, God doesn't promise us a life free pf troubles and worries because even He knows that each day has enough troubles of their own. He just asks us not to worry because HE clothes grass!

So take it all in stride, each trouble.. take it in stride but for the love of God (literally) don't worry about it.

If Grass can be clothed, wewe je?

Have a blessed week, albeit belated! :-)

Friday, 8 April 2011

Jumping in the rain

The thing about having a blog is that when a follower ask you to write about something.... You kind of have to do it but  lets not make it a habit eh?!? :-) 

Random question? When was the last time you played in the rain with a friend, spouse, or sibling? Do you remember how much fun that was?

So anyway, I got an text today. A friend wanted me to write about the topic that Maina Kageni and Churchill (spelling his radio stage name is a task given my cultural background, hence Churchill and not Kinganga... yeah that one). Anyhow, my phone is always tuned in to one frequency and no its not classic, God knows its not KISS Fm (Catch me dead. Its nothing personal by the way)... Yes, yes yes I am a die hard Capital FM fan. Like literally, I'd take a bullet for  the team, maybe excluding CK but hey! Moving on swiftly... I had no idea what the debate on Classic was and I was not going to subject my phone to some treacherous stuff. That said, my friend still went ahead and told me how the show was about men and women (whats new???) and some drama about men throwing women out of home and the latter refusing to be thrown out (Girl Power MY BLACK PALM!!!) and the men plotting to sell the houses behind the women's backs (And apparently women are back-stabbing female dogs) blah! blah! blah! Granted that I was not listening to Classic and I was not going to betray DJ Adrian's Friday Flight Mix, I hope you can forgive my gross misrepresentation of the facts of the topic. But the little I was told got me thinking... Really?!? We - men and women - have stopped to this level. Really? Women empowerment MY BLACK PLANTAR FASCIA (Read Sole).

These women and men who are literally driving each other up the wall have too much energy and me thinketh its been channeled in the wrong places. Seriously, wouldn't it be much for fun to go fly a kite (its been a while eh?) or jump in the rain rather than persistently plan on how to make someones life miserable?!? Really? This thing people call love. Love is a rumor to some people or perhaps their definition of love is the equivalent of getting all cuddled up *wink* and seeing as to how women are rumored to always have headaches at night *Ka-ching ching* then love or rather that messed up definition of love is thrown out the window!
Anyhow, bottom line is this: In love or not, your happiness cannot be determined by what others do or don't do! To those men and women who breathe, live, think and dream about making their "sweethearts" miserable... GET A DAMN LIFE  AND PURSUE HAPPINESS!!! Take one step at a time.. Its drizzling now... Go out and play in the rain with your dog, cat, parrot, rat, roach... whatever! Just do something that makes you happy.

In the word of a wise man:  

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~Abraham Lincoln~

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

To be or Not to be...

I'm still struggling to get my head around this blogging thing.. Its a fairly new concept, at least to me it is! So, in an effort of trying to grasp blogging and everything that comes with it, I have been reading other blogs BY KENYANS!!! And my oh my! Aren't we moving from a drinking generation to a writing (or blogging, whichever floats your boat) generation.. Ok, maybe its a bit premature to declare that but at least we're headed there! There are some seriously good blogs out there.. Take Jackson Biko for example. Any woman who reads True Love and Saturday Magazine knows just how incredible a writer he is. His blog Then there is Michael Ngigi- who's blog title: A Day in a Dogs Life, gives away just what the blog is about.. or so you may think. There is also Mrs. Mwiti. She is as real as they come. Then there is Miss Bree on To cut the long story short, there is a whole orchestra of bloggers out there.

So now I am convinced beyond a reasonable doubt, I will somehow get a hang of it... Eventually anyway! Itsjust a question of time; Everything is always a question of time.

To be a blogger or not to be....That is the question!!! :-)

Sunday, 3 April 2011


Dear Mr/Ms/Mrs. Politician

Consider this a rant for lack of any other superlative! I have just about had it with this whole Hague process and the rallies and "coded" insults our leaders... oh sorry, our politicians are literally hurling at each other! Anyhow, i try as much as I can - with extremely little success, if any - to ignore all the childish drama but my background both family and education do little to support my cause; so here I am.

There is this body called the NCIC (National Cohesion and Integration Commission). I'm still trying to figure out if they are worth tax payers money because they appear to be ALL talk with little or no action. Moving on swiftly. It seems as though some leaders politicians are uniting against a "common enemy" for reasons only known to them. In his defense, one of them stated that he is not attacking the common enemy's community but the specific individual... I rolled my eyes so hard they could have stuck somewhere in my eye sockets. He also went on to say if he goes to the Hague then he will go proud of one achievement - that he and his "friend" have united the antagonistic communities in Rift Valley! *WOW* Again, I rolled my eyes and thought to myself how effective this magic wand (read political rallies) is; wondered how come no one (among the two "friends") had the brains to use it earlier, like perhaps before 2007/8!!!

Back to the whole "I only have an issue with the individual and not the community" statement. If you live in Kenya then you know a bit too well that the two are mutually inclusive and please thou shall not kid yourself that Kenyans have shed off their tribal outfits blah! blah! blah! So here I am looking at this chap and wondering if his elite status bubbles him up so much (never mind the gazillion political rallies he's had in the past month) and if he actually believes in the rubbish he was feeding us with; let alone think Kenyans - especially the ones who originate from the community of the "common enemy" - will believe him? Its completely ridiculous - again I lack a superlative - to think for one second that political rallies that are attacking "an individual" will bring the country together. Its ridiculous to think that because that organization called NCIC has done jerk to try and bring this country together! Jerk! So Kenyans are still polarized and these rallies are NOT good for the country.... AT ALL!!!

The only thing I can hope for is that after 2007/8: WE, Kenyans, minus the leaders, are still scared enough by PEV! WE learned how easy it is break into civil war! WE have not forgotten how bad things got! WE have not forgotten how many lives were lost! WE learned something from PEV.

NOTE: Those who are going to the  Hague... Can you just pack your bags silently and get the hell out of our lives! Just because you are going down does not mean you take an entire nation down with you... Its selfish and highly immature! As for our media.... *Sigh* Lets talk about that another day!

Yours truly, 

Saturday, 2 April 2011

Tata's Cocktail = Happiness

Yesterday was Fool's Day. It was also the 13th Memorial Anniversary of a kind, visionary man who was a great father to his children and superb uncle to his nephew and nieces, which is the category I belong. I know you're probably thinking who dies on Fools Day??? Best believe God has a sense of humor, that we sometimes fail to share in. I still wonder whats up with that especially since he died before midday! *Sigh* 

In exactly 11 days, it will one year since the death of one of the sweetest, warm people I have been privileged to know and meet. Kavivvy, as we fondly called her because of her high-pitched baby voice even at the age of 18, died "suddenly" after she was misdiagnosed with some random sickness while all along she had Cancer of the bones. I never got to see her in her pain, but something tells me it may have been for the best; because for me I still remember her as she were before her illness.

There is something about April that gives me the jitters. But yesterday got me thinking... A whole lot. Life is too damn short to just exist in it. I was chatting with a friend who told me about her "aunt" who has been married four times! FOUR! No, she is not, young and foolish; neither is she in the States or any Western Country where such things are as normal as a cop accepting a bribe in Kenya, her aunt is in Kenya and has been married FOUR times to Kenyans. Why has she been married FOUR times? Her answer was simple: Life is short to even be unhappy for a single day in your life. So when her first, second and third husbands pulled fast ones on her, she left and continued in her pursuit of happiness. My friend, still amazed by her aunt described her as a lady who is on a cocktail of some seriously hard drugs to try help me understand how happy "tata" usually is.

Life is short to dare be unhappy over things you have control over. If its a lecturer, boyfriend, boss, girlfriend, friend, sibling, tout, blah blah blah... You need to re-evaluate just how important they are to you, what value are the adding to your life and if its a boss draining out on joy, then get on the cocktail of hard drugs or look for a "tata" in your life to tickle you. 

In the words one of the greatest rock bands ever: 

Nickleback- If today was your last day