Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Of Conversations & Lessons.

The truth is most of life is hell. It is filled with failure and loss. People disappoint you. Dreams do not work out and hearts get broken. And, the best moments in life when everything comes together are few and fleeting but you can only get to the next moment if you keep going. ~Political Animals~

My year would be incomplete without me having dozens of conversations with myself which give me invaluable lessons...My 2013 in lessons.

P.s. Most of these lessons are conclusions drawn from the conversations I have with myself and my imaginary friends. :-)

1. Be Grateful.
This far into the year I have learned that the power of a grateful spirit is enough to stir up miracles in your life and make God bless you more and more... I  have learned that just by being grateful for the gift of life, for a sound mind, for a peaceful spirit and good health I can be blessed beyond measure.

2. Love
I honestly do not think there is a year that goes by and I do not learn a lesson on love. This year I have learned three:
a) I have learned that being in love or in a relationship is like going for a swim. At some point you will need to come out for air. At some point you will need to bask and soak in the warmth of the sun. Love is rare and precious. It is more precious when it is mutual. If you love someone you don't let them go and then pray that fate or is it cupid will guide them back your way. When you find love and you fall in love madly deeply and truly you let someone pull out their head for some air. You do that while still holding their hand under water... Until you can both swim underwater again.
b) I have learned (from the Bible) that love does not keep a record of wrongs. This year, I have learnt that love does not keep a record of personal "rights" either. It's not a competition. It's not a game. As my friend Adikinyi always says: "Saying to someone I love you is NOT a question. I do not why people always get so upset when they do not get an answer."
c) I have learned that love is fragile and irrational. If you are making sense of it then you are probably not in love.... 

3. Internet
I have learned that Google is a woman... Because Google knows everything and above all remembers EVERYBODY'S birthday. :-)

4. Books
I have learned that books are the very thing that keep me going. I have learned that the words are not just alphabets put together but they are symbolic and I will always draw deeper meaning from what I read. I mean where else would you find such statements: "I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly then all of a sudden at once."

5. Tribe
I had a couple horrible experiences this year during the election period where I constantly wondered at what point while in my momma's womb I had asked God to make me a Kikuyu. I have learned that I am not proud to be a Kikuyu and that I always jump at the opportunity to deny that I am Kikuyu. It sucks.

6. Death
I have learned that life is short, death is a b!+{#  and it hurts like hell. What sucks the most about death is that it demands to be noticed.

7. Decisions
I have learned that not knowing what you want or where you want to go in life does not make LIMBO your final destination. If you cannot think about your life, what you want out of it and where you want to be then you have no reason to get up in the morning.

8. Risks
I have learned that sometimes you have to make a decision to take a risk and be brave in life. Take a risk. Jump off the cliff. Say what you feel. Resign if you must. Regret is like a mosquito, unless you kill it, it will keep coming back for more. Sometimes your only available form of transport is a "jump of faith"

9. Giving Up
I have learned that giving up is really as easy as A-B-C, 1-2-3. What you didn't know and you will know today is this: The crappy feeling that occupies someone after giving up is just not worth it. Keep going.... Always. Keep going and never give up on yourself. 

10. Experiences
I have learnt that "out-of-body" experiences are not "out-of-mind" experiences. You will remember stupid decisions.

11. God
I have learned that God is my closest friend. That He loves me in a way that no (wo)man ever will. That He will always be there for me and will never give me something I cannot handle. He is a miracle-worker. Falling in love with Him has been the most amazing thing this year. 

12. Fear
My Pastor always says fear is an acronym which in full stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. I have learnt that the thing about fear is that, just like terrorism, it is faceless. Maybe that is why facing our fears is always such an uphill and almost impossible task...

And the greatest lesson this far has been this: No matter how many conversations I have with myself, how many lecturers I have with my heart and arguments with my mind... Things will always work out how I least expect them to... Which for me is synonymous with "Things work out as they should" because ~> Jeremiah 29:11 is REAL to me. 
So perhaps, you can call me a mad person for doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results... Le Sigh!

Happy Ending of 2013!