Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Of Conversations & Lessons.

The truth is most of life is hell. It is filled with failure and loss. People disappoint you. Dreams do not work out and hearts get broken. And, the best moments in life when everything comes together are few and fleeting but you can only get to the next moment if you keep going. ~Political Animals~

My year would be incomplete without me having dozens of conversations with myself which give me invaluable lessons...My 2013 in lessons.

P.s. Most of these lessons are conclusions drawn from the conversations I have with myself and my imaginary friends. :-)

1. Be Grateful.
This far into the year I have learned that the power of a grateful spirit is enough to stir up miracles in your life and make God bless you more and more... I  have learned that just by being grateful for the gift of life, for a sound mind, for a peaceful spirit and good health I can be blessed beyond measure.

2. Love
I honestly do not think there is a year that goes by and I do not learn a lesson on love. This year I have learned three:
a) I have learned that being in love or in a relationship is like going for a swim. At some point you will need to come out for air. At some point you will need to bask and soak in the warmth of the sun. Love is rare and precious. It is more precious when it is mutual. If you love someone you don't let them go and then pray that fate or is it cupid will guide them back your way. When you find love and you fall in love madly deeply and truly you let someone pull out their head for some air. You do that while still holding their hand under water... Until you can both swim underwater again.
b) I have learned (from the Bible) that love does not keep a record of wrongs. This year, I have learnt that love does not keep a record of personal "rights" either. It's not a competition. It's not a game. As my friend Adikinyi always says: "Saying to someone I love you is NOT a question. I do not why people always get so upset when they do not get an answer."
c) I have learned that love is fragile and irrational. If you are making sense of it then you are probably not in love.... 

3. Internet
I have learned that Google is a woman... Because Google knows everything and above all remembers EVERYBODY'S birthday. :-)

4. Books
I have learned that books are the very thing that keep me going. I have learned that the words are not just alphabets put together but they are symbolic and I will always draw deeper meaning from what I read. I mean where else would you find such statements: "I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly then all of a sudden at once."

5. Tribe
I had a couple horrible experiences this year during the election period where I constantly wondered at what point while in my momma's womb I had asked God to make me a Kikuyu. I have learned that I am not proud to be a Kikuyu and that I always jump at the opportunity to deny that I am Kikuyu. It sucks.

6. Death
I have learned that life is short, death is a b!+{#  and it hurts like hell. What sucks the most about death is that it demands to be noticed.

7. Decisions
I have learned that not knowing what you want or where you want to go in life does not make LIMBO your final destination. If you cannot think about your life, what you want out of it and where you want to be then you have no reason to get up in the morning.

8. Risks
I have learned that sometimes you have to make a decision to take a risk and be brave in life. Take a risk. Jump off the cliff. Say what you feel. Resign if you must. Regret is like a mosquito, unless you kill it, it will keep coming back for more. Sometimes your only available form of transport is a "jump of faith"

9. Giving Up
I have learned that giving up is really as easy as A-B-C, 1-2-3. What you didn't know and you will know today is this: The crappy feeling that occupies someone after giving up is just not worth it. Keep going.... Always. Keep going and never give up on yourself. 

10. Experiences
I have learnt that "out-of-body" experiences are not "out-of-mind" experiences. You will remember stupid decisions.

11. God
I have learned that God is my closest friend. That He loves me in a way that no (wo)man ever will. That He will always be there for me and will never give me something I cannot handle. He is a miracle-worker. Falling in love with Him has been the most amazing thing this year. 

12. Fear
My Pastor always says fear is an acronym which in full stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. I have learnt that the thing about fear is that, just like terrorism, it is faceless. Maybe that is why facing our fears is always such an uphill and almost impossible task...

And the greatest lesson this far has been this: No matter how many conversations I have with myself, how many lecturers I have with my heart and arguments with my mind... Things will always work out how I least expect them to... Which for me is synonymous with "Things work out as they should" because ~> Jeremiah 29:11 is REAL to me. 
So perhaps, you can call me a mad person for doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results... Le Sigh!

Happy Ending of 2013! 

Monday, 28 October 2013

Guest Post: Growing Up

Free spirit. Smart (Intelligent). Cavalier. Those are the adjectives that best describe my guest blogger; Mwende. She sent me an email that said: "Incase you ever host pieces on your blog, here goes... I wrote this in the last 10 minutes... just cos I felt like." When I first got this email from her, it took about five seconds to understand what she was on about and then once I figured it out, I was  excited - mostly because I didn't know she writes. Still not sure if she does.
I met Mwende through my sister in 2008 at the Red Cross Kenya offices in South C. It was just after the 2007/8 Post-election violence. The organization she and my sister worked for were volunteering at the Red Cross Kenya offices to help load and off load donations intended to assist the victims of the violence and I am sort-of my sisters' hand-bag. I thought she was fun and funny. I got to know her a bit more through social media where I realized how similar we are... She has OCD and cannot step on/outside the line of a box/curb. She counts her steps as she walks. She thinks for a living. She has great taste in music... But, up until she sent me this I didn't know just how similar we are. She recently flew out to pursue her Masters and I highly suspect this post was inspired by this new-chapter of her life.
Enjoy it and comment if you wish (and I hope you do).
P.s. The only thing I have changed is the Font. I am particular about font type and size.

Growing up means different things to different people….Growing up for me has meant a lot of things, some significant and some small still and subtle….I share 10 of my favourite growing up lessons J
1.       That God is the center of my life…I enjoy waking up in the morning, kneeling down in prayer and listening to worship music. I am not forced by mommy to go to church as it was a few years back…more often than not I want to go and I want to be on time. I don’t run away from the Pastor because I think he has psychic power to see my transgressions, I chat with them, I tell them what is going on in my life and they pray over me and this has made a huge difference.
2.      Family is a very important element of my life, don’t get me wrong it always has been….and just because we have our peculiarities and fights, doesn’t mean you the outsider can contribute to this madness, be sure I love them all to bits and I will hurt you if you hurt them. It is true what they say blood is thicker than water.
3.      Friends ….they came and went in my early 20s and the ones who remained are those I am willing to invest to keep for a long time. Let’s face it friendships are expensive, time consuming and I can’t be close to everyone so I won’t punish myself for those whom I have not spoken to for some time…..or the ones who still ask haiya wapi bwana na watoto?? Aaaarggh.  This circle of exceptional people is now my mini-family. It’s also means that don’t  need to second guess the people I can go to for just about anything…It’s not just stories for clubbing and hopping from one city to another, it’s about happiness, memories, goals, being challenged, holding each other accountable, praying together and for each other, dreams and realizing there is only one life to live. Right now is when I am making choices that will determine my future.
4.      I have strong opinions sorry very strong opinions; you don’t have to agree with and trust me it is okay, despite what my over piercing eyes may want to communicate….It’s ok, you are entitled to an opinion too, maybe even a silly one like KDF had a right to loot during the Westgate operation. I overanalyze a lot of things….that’s just the way I am and I’m perfectly fine. I guess this means I love me for me.....There is only one me after all. It’s not about perfection, its acceptance and striving to be better
5.     I know my limits…..I know the crap I can’t handle and sometimes it’s important to know what your bottom line is….Just by knowing my limits, I know I can’t party as hard as I used to and I know when it’s time to go home, I’m not competing for first one in and last one out of the club anymore. Knowing my limits also comes with knowing my motivation….and what I want out of a career and it’s not just a paycheck…..
6.      I enjoy cooking more….I enjoy trying out new dishes. Loved baking as a child and the kid in me is back!!! Never let the kid in you die….
7.     I am fine with my past…..I can bump into an ex-boyfriend and be cordial. I can say things like congratulations on the new job and on finally hitting the gym, I wish you a happy marriage and that fatherhood will be ever so thrilling for you….without thinking to the left to the left and how irreplaceable I am. It just dint work out and that’s ok, you live and learn.
8.       Music….it’s become one of my greatest forms of expression. Sultry, deep, meaningful music.
9.      Health….this should probably be way up there….I eat my vegetables, I walk, I try and be healthy more importantly I limit my addictions. 
10.  I have learnt what love is and what love is not….1 Corinthians 13. That’s love! Be grateful when you find it….I know I am J 

Monday, 14 October 2013

Butterfly Explosions

I had a familiar feeling in my belly today
It was the feeling I got when you would randomly hold my hand
The feeling I got when I was supposed to meet you
The feeling I got every time you gave me a peck
It was the feeling I got whenever you'd break out in laughter or offer me a smile

I had a familiar feeling in my belly today
It must be the explosion of ...
Butterflies and love
Butterflies and expectations
Butterflies and happiness

I was overwhelmed with a familiar feeling today...

But twas a feeling I felt in my dreams before my alarm snapped me back to reality

*Thank you alarm clock*

Sweet dreams are made of familiar tummy feelings. 

Friday, 11 October 2013

50 Shades of One

"Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength. No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful the experience is, if we lose hope that is the real tragedy." ~Dalai Lama~

I have restrained myself from writing this post ever since the #WestGateAttack happened. At the time when words flooded my mind, I was too sad to write. Too heart-broken to write. Too overwhelmed by the love and support Kenyans showed each other. The solidarity. I suppose I felt unworthy of penning down my thoughts. I wanted to do more than just write. I wanted to be able to turn back time and prevent it all from happening. For those few days, I wanted to play God and take everybody's pain away.

The #WestGate Attack was a sack-full of disaster. Death. Destruction. Despair. Desperation. Darkness. Heart-ache. Trauma. Shock. Inexpressible grief and sadness. It was really the last thing we needed as a country as we celebrate turning 50. But the #WestGateAttack also revealed our strength as a country. For four days and nights we were one, we were all Kenyans in the face of tragedy and despite the damn terrorists cowardice attempt to divide us along religious lines, we remained one. 

Then,  like the leaves of a tree respond to the wind and sadly, true to the Kenyan form,our 50 shades of our oneness began to appear...

This is how we are one in this my beloved country

#WeAreOne before political talk finds it way in tragic events
#WeAreOne before #KOT become political analysts and CSI agents 
#WeAreOne before the tragic events of West Gate become a class issue
#WeAreOne while giving out press statements but not when sharing blame... Hence the NSIS-Police-Army circus of tossing this hot-potato to each other
#WeAreOne before a church is torched and a Muslim Cleric is killed by gun-men
#WeAreOne if our neighbor is not of Somali origin
#WeAreOne before going for elections but 42 when results are counted...

I could go on and on about our various shades of  #WeAreOne... Or I could dream of a better country. 

This is not the country I dream of living in. A country where no matter how tragic events, politics, class and conspiracy theories of individuals with brains the size of a grain of sugar take precedence over the grief that has affected so many of us - directly or indirectly,

I dream of living in a country where political discourse will look beyond our politicians and focus on policies that will solve our problems
I dream of living in a country where our unity has only on shade. White. Not Grey. Where our unity is as sure as the rising of the sun
I dream of living in a country where social media will be used to build and not destroy things
I dream of living in a country where we can be Kenyans all year round... Tragedy or no tragedy.

We clearly haven't gotten it right within this first 50 years. I hope and pray that we will get it right for our kids within the next 50 years...

We should remain one because if the tragedy of #WestGate, politics, religion, class and conspiracy theories do anything else rather than unite us, then we will have failed as a country. We will have compounded to the problems facing our country.

May the departed souls rest peacefully... May their loved ones have a forgiving heart, learn to smile again, learn to laugh again. Learn to be whole again.
May the survivors be healed - physically, emotionally and psychologically. May their memories of that day be deleted from their minds.
May our heroes find peace. May they be the reason we aspire to be truly a nation. May they always be honored in life and death. 
May our nation heal from this pain. May we never forget 21st September 2013. May we never know this grief again. 

May we never lose hope... Hope that we will one day be one!

May our next 50 years be one shade on one.....

Thursday, 4 July 2013

Of Expectations and Biology

"Expectation is the root of all heartache" ~Shakespeare~

The new VAT Bill, which Parliament is set to discuss (and pass, given that the house now operates according to the Tyranny of Numbers) will make Kenyans pay more for essential basics like: journals, newspapers and periodicals, wheat flour, bread, computers and computer software, processed milk, rice and sanitary towels. These, among others, are some of the products that did not previously attract a VAT fee. Other services and/or commodities that are likely to be affected by the new bill include: domestic electricity consumption (By the way, please remember Ruto stopped KPLC from increasing the tariffs  Talk about being blind-sided eh?), water drilling services, parking at airports and hospital consumables e.t.c

But wait, before we take to the streets - yesterday, our President called all the Jubilee MPs to State House *Enter Tyranny of Numbers, again* and lobbied them to amend the Bill and exclude maize and bread from the list of items that would be taxed. I had a brief blonde moment when my thoughts led me to believe that he would include milk as well... Again, I said it was a blonde moment. It only lasted a minute. 

Anyway, this post is not about milk. I will also not pretend to be an expert on finance or fiscal policies and analyse the bill, I wouldn't know where to begin. If you are interested though, you can read a Position Paper done by ICPAK on the Bill here. It is very informative.

This post is about the President not lobbying his team from excluding one item from the bill: Sanitary Towels.

Perhaps for most of us, we don't appreciate the fact that we can afford and access sanitary towels - it is something we take for granted. It is a habit - going into the supermarket to do monthly shopping and to pick the brand of your choice. It is such a habit that we have never really stopped to think about the flip-side. The reality that in some parts of our country, for four days or more, girls, just like us, like our daughter, mothers, sister and friends have to stop living their lives due to natural biological processes. The reality that some girls have to sit in a hole until the last day, some use cow dung, leaves, rugs and papers as sanitary towels. Cow dung.

You see, what I do not get is how a government that realized that some of the challenges facing the FPE programme is the number of young girls who had to drop out of school once they hit puberty. That government went a step further to allocate 240 Million in the 2011/2012 Financial year to ensure that young girls would not drop out of school. The new cabinet secretary in the Ministry of Education has requested for 2.6 Billion to purchase sanitary towels for 2.6 Million girls. So, there is a section of government that is keen on making the lives of these girls run as smoothly as possible and the other wants to make life more difficult for them by taxing sanitary towels. Riddle me this. Is this a case of the left hand not knowing what the right arm is doing? Because if this be the case, then maybe we should consider chopping off both arms.

If the amended bill does NOT exclude sanitary towels, then what we are saying in essence is that the government will increase its budgetary allocation towards provision of sanitary towels; and not to buy more but because they will be more expensive.
(Didn't #UhuRuto promise to reduce the current government expenditure? But then again, Ruto wants 100 Million to renovate an eight-month old mansion... Woooosaaa!)

Let me tell you what is even more upsetting and somewhat disgusting... That ALL THOSE female MPs we elected have kept mum. What?!? *Hard Blink* Why haven't they boycotted meetings or something? Is it really too much to ask? That the women, stand up and speak up for young girls!?!?

My thoughts on this: We cannot have young girls using cow-dung, leaves, newspapers or living in holes because they are women. Not in this day and age. Not when, we have MDGs to attain and we keep talking about a #Post-2015World. The truth is, girls dropping out of school affects the country's efforts to achieve their MDGs: MDG 2 (Education for All) and MDG 3 (Gender Equity and Equality).

"When this school girl menstruates she stays home. When she is older, that is all she will be qualified to do" ~Anon~ 

I think sanitary towels are as necessary as condoms. And condoms are FREE - well, GoK ones. Sanitary Towels should be left in the zero-rated bracket FREE too. That is all I am saying in a nutshell. 

Lastly, I really should have managed my expectations of #UhuRuto.

Bye Folks.

Monday, 24 June 2013

Dear Reader

“More than kisses, letters mingle souls.” 
~John Donne~

If I would write you a letter, 
It certainly would not be a love letter... Well, not by my standards.
It would not be hateful either, hate mail is not my forte.

If I would dare write you a letter,
I would tell you how much  that I miss you
I would tell you how much I wish you were animal
I would tell you about my friend who told her boss that her mother, who carried her for 9 months, still said PLEASE whenever she sent her around :-)
I would tell you that a simple beat, a simple rhythm - even without words - reminds me of you 
I would tell you how much you have been on my mind
I would tell you how proud I am of you

If I would dare write you a letter,
I would tell you that you are broken and need fixing
I would tell you that I too am broken was once broken
I would tell you that I have been sad and I have been cuddling my sadness
I would curse at and insult you
I would tell you that I still love the rain

If I would dare write you a letter,
I would tell you what I think about Olivia Pope (and President Fitzgerald)
I would once again tell you that I think you should have been a friggin' animal
I would tell you that more than kisses, letters mingle souls.....

But the truth is, I will probably never write you a letter
Then again, maybe this is the letter so...

Dear Reader,

With Love & Pride
Ms. Aiyanna.

Tuesday, 28 May 2013

In my dreams

I have two memories of you. One is found in a picture (and frankly speaking that doesn't quite count as a memory). The other... Well, it goes something like this. You picked us up from school one day and before we got home you passed by the Shell Petrol Station Shop and asked us to pick anything we wanted, but it had to be one item. I was so overwhelmed with all the "goodies" I could not make a choice. Eventually, I picked a packet of Digestive Biscuits which I never got to eat because I forgot them in your car. I suppose the kids had a field day eating them. I must not have been more than 8 years old - but that is the memory I have carried all these years.

I haven't seen you in forever - slightly over a decade. Soon it will be two decades and then three decades and yet even in your absence you are thought of more and more with each passing day. I often wonder how differently life would have played out if you stuck around. I wonder...

But don't get me wrong, I am not filled with sadness about not seeing you in person; not any more. You have been popping up randomly in my dreams since the beginning of this year. And though some of your appearances have been technical appearances, I am always happy to see you.

Seeing you grips me with fear (and makes me think I am crazy) and excitement in equal measure. The set-up is always the same. In the living room, by the main door. You play peek-a-boo with me and then disappear. But last nights dream was different. You stayed for a chat. You stayed long enough for me to tell my sister "Look, there he is" and her excitement was unbelievable. You stayed long enough for someone else other than I to see you. It was so cool. You were surprised that she is married, that I have finished school and I am now chasing paper and that I have become so tall. *Ahem* That is what happens when people grow up mister, keep up. :-)

You looked different. You were awfully short, nothing like I remember. Heck, you were shorter than my sister and she is the shortest of us all. On the flip-side though, you sounded just like Patrick, had James sense of humor and something about your smile reminded me of Esther.

I was ecstatic that we got to talk this time round, that you know how our lives are. I have very few memories of you alive but I suppose I am creating some with you in my dreams. You are dearly missed... But seeing you, albeit for a spilt second as is sometimes the case, makes me believe in heaven, that you are in heaven and God sent you to pay us a visit, in your living room.

You are missed. 

Rest Peacefully Uncle and see you again.... In my dreams. 

P.s. I wish Becky would get with the programme and make random appearances as you do... I miss her too. 

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

A Tale of Breadcrumbs

A story is told of a boy who met a girl...
Their conversations were perfect; he completed her sentences. She completed his sentences
Her laughter was contagious and his smile melted her heart
Telepathy was their new-found super power

Theirs was a fairy-tale love story that blossomed in the woods and like Hansel and Gretel they dropped some breadcrumbs as they moved along so that one day if they felt like they had lost their way and their love had become rational they would take a few steps back along the same path and remember why they had loved so irrationally and how they had acquired telepathy as a super power. The breadcrumbs would lead them home... Back to where it all began

I suppose they mustn't have finished reading Hansel and Gretel for if they had, they would have known that the woods have birds and the birds would eat their breadcrumbs. The birds ate their breadcrumbs as they moved along. The more they dropped, the more the birds had to eat. The birds had eaten most of their breadcrumbs but they believed that they had come so far hand-in-hand to dare get lost if they ever needed to go back. Hadn't their walk been perfect - with each of them taking mental photographs of the most memorable tree? Well, it had been perfect. Save for the occasional rain that poured, the sun would always shine again and dry them up. Their walk in the woods had been perfect. 

It was the perfect love story 
It is the perfect love story of a boy who met a girl and the girl met the boy and the rest is history. 
It is a love story that was lived through in the thick of the woods. 
It is the perfect love story that eventually led them to different forests when they once tried to find their way back home. 
It is the perfect love story of how they now rely on the echoes of the words... 
"I love you"
"I love you too"

Every so often, they shout the words out a little bit louder than before, this time hoping that the echoes will lead them back to each other... 
Lead them back to each others arms. 
Back to the simplicity of a hug, 
Back to the simplicity of his hand in hers, 
To the simplicity of his smile and her smile and 
Most importantly, restore back their telepathic powers because their love brought out the best in them.

Unfortunately, they seem to forget that the louder they shout, the farther away the echoes will sound and the farther away their paths shall be... Soon, the echoes will lead them out of the woods, their love will be out of the woods and so will their fairy tale

*Good-bye my lover, good-bye my friend, you have been the one.. you have been the one for me*

Hopefully, their journey out of the woods will lead them to a t-junction...

And on that day, all they will need to do is whisper

"I love you"
"I love you too"

Because sometimes a whisper is far more clearer than a shout.


"I love thee... always"

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

An Open Letter To Ms/Mr/Mrs Politician

Dear Ms/Mr/Mrs Politician,

It is my sincere hope that this letter finds you in good health and that you are keeping well since you were elected by the people of Kenya on the 4th of March 2013. Oh my, forgive my manners... Allow me to congratulate on your election and/or nomination... CONGRATULATIONS! 

You have been in the news lately, a bit too much if I may add... and for all the wrong reasons. There is a certain rule about "new kids on the block or new kids in a class." It states that the new kid should not be all up in the faces of other people. The new kid is always expected to sit back and relax; get used to the new environment; learn the ropes first. Survival for the fittest my friend, survival for the fittest.

Now that we have that covered, kindly allow me to introduce myself, after all I did line up from 6:05 a.m to 3:00 p.m. waiting to vote for you (and others). My name is Jackie. I am a Kenyan aged (x+y) years old who believes a lady should only reveal her age on a medical form. In 2010, Kenyans passed a new constitution - I am sure you have heard about that document, the one that transferred power to the PEOPLE of KENYA. Under this constitution we the People of Kenya also consented to the formation of independent bodies and institutions. Allow me to digress at this juncture and take you back to class. 

The word independent is a word which according to the internet (yes, I am from the digital generation) means not influenced or controlled by others; self governing... Where was I again? Aah, yes, we, the People of Kenya consented to the formation of various independent bodies and that includes the Salaries and Remuneration Commission.

I hear that you are disgruntled about the salaries the commission proposed for you. Allow me to enlighten you... Did you know the SRC went round the entire country collecting the views of Kenyans on what your new salaries should be? Well, now you know. Did you also know that it is MY taxes that ensure you get paid? Well, now you know.

I understand you find your new salaries shameful and insulting!?! Yes? OK. And you have justified this because of the many responsibilities and obligations that come with SERVING the public. Yes? Well, I do agree, public service can be oh-so-demanding and overwhelming.

Allow me to tell you a short story:

I am an urbanite....  A former ruralite (is there such a word?) turned urbanite. I have a job in Nairobi; the job pays me enough to go to work and buy one or two things for myself and for your information, I literally mean one OR two things. It is NEVER both because if I buy both then I have bought THREE things and I am not paid enough to paid THREE things; just one OR two. Back home, I am the SI unit of success. I am blessed because both my parents are alive, and so are their parents and their parents parents. Also ALL my siblings are alive and so are my aunts and uncles. Yes, my extended family is ALIVE and WELL. Oh my, I forgot, the village that raised me is alive - since I came to Nairobi, only two people have died.

You see back home, they do not care that I pay YOUR salary. Between you and I, I suspect that they do not know, if they knew they would make more demands of me. I would be invited to more funeral meetings, I would contribute a bit more money for school fees for my siblings and my neighbours' grand kids. I would pay my parents gardener more. Thank God they do not know. Ignorance is not so bad after all. Anyway, though they do not care, they are mindful of the reality that I must TRY to feed myself a decent meal daily. Also, they are mindful of the reality that I have bills to pay; especially electricity bills which for unknown reasons go up during the dry season as well as the rainy season... That right there is the real kitendawili, don't you think? 

My village, family and friends are also mindful of the fact that I need to get to work by public transport (sadly, I cannot afford a car  - yet - plus fuel is so expensive nowadays) and that every so often the tout will increase my fare as and when he pleases. They understand that the tout always steals a little from me... so does mama mboga who increases the price of dhania and onions but never the quantities. This is the story of my life... My everyday life.

But you could not be bothered about my life, my responsibilities and my obligations....

Have you ever wondered where the other half of the money (assuming you contribute one half) to foot burial expenses or school fees for the child in your constituency and/or county comes from? Allow me to enlighten you again... It comes from people like me. Ordinary Kenyans who have a sense of community. You Sir and Madam are not the only "burdened" people in Kenya. In fact I suspect you would not be in a position to recognize burden even if it hit you in the face... I am just saying.

Enough with the rhetoric. Let us get some things straight:
1) I HIRED YOU - YOU came to ME  and asked ME to vote for YOU. I did not come to YOU. Therefore in essence YOU VOLUNTEERED/OFFERED YOURSELF to serve ME!
4) YOU CANNOT DISBAND THE SRC. Read the Constitution. Only KENYANS can do that through a referendum
5) Ksh. 535,000,  Ksh. 640,000 AND Ksh. 740,927 IS ENOUGH to pay back your mortgage and car loan. I am sure you wonder how? Well, for starters, your interest rate is significantly lower than mine and your payback period longer than mine. Secondly, I believe you get a car allowance? Yes? Good.

Now, please shut the hell up and get to work and while at it you should try something we the Kenyan people do every single time... It is called living within your means. I am sure you are not familiar with that concept so allow me to enlighten you (for the umpteenth time)... Living within your means means living within your means! For example, if your salary can only allow you to buy a 3 bed-room house on a half acre of land then what that means is that you buy a 3 bed-room house on a half acre of land. Living within your means has everything to do with loving what you get if you are not lucky enough to get what you love. OK? Good.

Lastly, I heard you saying that SRC released your new salary perks late right? Right. Fair enough. Bottom line here is this... You knew what your salary would be before the elections. You had two choices, to either step down or to step down. Usually that is what ordinary Kenyans do. When they interview for a job and they are unhappy with the pay and all negotiations fail, they turn down the job offer. Life is really that simple. You had your choices but lacked the balls to make them.

As I conclude please remember the following:
3) TOW THE GODDAMN LINE AND GET TO WORK... My niece needs to visit your office to request for money to attend campus.
4) Stop acting like brats and thank God for your blessings, some of us would have to sell our body parts to make a fraction of your salary.

Thank you.

Yours Truly,
A Kenyan.

P.s. Two things:

a) Riding a bike to work is not only good exercise but also very good for our environment. I believe you are familiar with the concept of climate change, yes? Good.
b) Please, please, please do NOT attempt to test our (the Kenyan people) patience... It thinned out with the last parliament. Humility is a virtue. Buy some...Rumour has it you earn 535,000!

Tuesday, 26 February 2013

Daima Mimi Mkenya



What is your responsibility as a Kenyan?

Wajibu wetu
Ni Kuishi kwa upendo
Kutoka ziwa Mpaka pwani
Kaskazini na kusini. ~Eric Wainaina~

Thursday, 24 January 2013

My Honest Poem

I saw this on the internet, and I was completely blown away. So, I am doing the right and honourable thing and SHARING IT WITH ALL OF YOU  :)


I've been told that I give bad hugs
People say it feels like I'm trying to escape
It’s probably because I am
Secretly I get really nervous 
Every time someone gets close enough to hear me breathe

I have an odd fascination with things like sand castles and ice sculptures
I assume it’s because I usually find myself dedicating time to things that will only last a few moments
I guess that’s why I fall in love with things that will never love me back
I know that sounds crazy but it’s easier than it seems and to be honest I think it’s safer that way
You see relationships often remind that I'm not afraid of heights or falling
But I am scared to death of everything that's going to happen the very moment that my body hits the ground

I'm clumsy
Yesterday I tripped over my self-esteem
Landed on my pride and it shattered like a Iphone with a broken face
Now I can’t even tell who’s trying to give me a compliment 
I've never been in the military but I have this purple heart
I got it from beating myself up over things I can’t fix

Some days I treat my body like a costume and I feel like a mascot for a school no body wants to go to
I know this sounds weird but I wonder what my bed sheets say about me when I'm not around
I wonder what the curtains would do if they found out about all the things I've done behind their back
I have a hamper that’s over flowing with really really loud mistakes
And a grave yard in my closet
I'm afraid if I let you see my skeletons
You’d grind my bones into powder and get high off my fault lines.

I often forget my skin is not a panic room
I enjoy frozen yoghurt, people watching, and laughing for absolutely no reason
But I don’t allow myself to cry as often as I need to
I have solar power confidence
And a battery operated smile

My hobbies include
Editing my life story
Hiding behind metaphors 
And trying to convince my shadow...
That I'm someone worth following 

~By Rudy Francisco~

Amazing, right? RIGHT! 

Ok then, have an absolutely amazing end to the month of January :)


Monday, 7 January 2013

I still, (I) never, (I have) learned

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect intended us to forgo their use.  ~Galileo Gallilei~

HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS!!! (It's not yet 15th so you best wish me a happy one too, in the comment box below... Yes that one. Thank you. :-)

Just a small note: My last post for 2012 is not a reflection of how my year ended.... I was so blown away by 2012 and its awesomeness, words failed me. I was as happy as a lark(ess).

So for 2013: Well, here goes

I never thought I'd see the day I loose sleep over a broken nail yet,
I still bite my nails

I still do not want to get married yet,
I tear up at weddings; regardless of whether or not the bride and groom are known to me

I still haven't figured out this thing called life (which means I am not about to die right?) but,
I FINALLY have a 5-year plan (and I can stop getting creative during job interviews)

I finally have a 5-year plan yet;
I wish I could marry sleep and never go hungry and accomplish all my goals... Isn't life cruel?

I am my own harshest critic (and fan) but mostly critic yet,
I still think it is never that serious

I have CDO yet,
I have learned to accept that people want different things out of life and will do things differently from me

I have learned that I do not know where I would be without God, my family and friends (pay attention to the order of appearance)

I have learned that God is really the most A.W.E.S.O.M.E. friend I will ever have in the whole wide world... You heard me? In the whooooole wide world. Nothing like having Him on your side.

I have learned that prayer and faith actually do move mountains.

I have learned that gratitude can leave you speechless and having a grateful heart is by far one of the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced. 

I have gained a higher appreciation for the Serenity Prayer. It really is powerful. 

Lastly, today I learned not to worry about tomorrow because God is already there :) :) :) *Boom*

So, be happy, live life, laugh loudly, cry silently, pray passionately, feel and love freely in 2013. God is already way ahead of us into the year. 

Happy and blessed blessed blessed new year to each and everyone of you! It's going to be.......... 


*Happy dance*