Tuesday, 24 May 2011


This may very well be a premature conclusion seeing that I haven't conducted a research but being a woman, I think I have some authority to say that where two or more ladies are gathered, there will be relationship talk and advice being given and received. I don't know if the same (relationship talk) applies to men.

I always try to be careful what I say and what I wish for... Again, life has a way of being funny and I might just get the things I wish for; so i try to be very careful. I have said it before that I am not BIG on marriage and everything that comes with it; does that mean I don't want to get married? *Eeehh, I'm careful about what I say and wish for* ... Ask me that in about seven years.

I recently had an enlightening conversation with a stranger of sorts; and because we are both girls, we lived up to the aforementioned conclusion and candidly spoke about relationships, in a general fashion though. I can't remember her name but  we shall call her *Nyambu's friend. This girl is pretty young, probably 19 or 20. She spoke with such maturity and wisdom it made me wonder what cards life her dealt her to make her grow up so fast. I listened intensely as she spoke, mostly amazed at how much sense she was speaking. She too, is not big on marriage but she believes beyond any reasonable doubt that she wil have a fairy tale ending... A happily ever after.

As she spoke, she got me thinking about my relationships (friendships, family relationships, intimate relationships, work and my relationship with God); I thought about them in comparision to the kind of love that God has for His church, for His people! Its unconditional love. Unadulterated unconditional love. Whereas God expects us to follow His commandments and teachings, His love for us is not dependent on the former.The only other kind of love, that is closely similar to God's love is between a mother and her child. Its unconditional and ever giving.

In relationships, we love to give but we also love to receive just as much. We are wired to give and except to get something in equivalent or greater value in return. Often, relationships break because one party feels that they are giving much more than they are receiving. Love has become a trade affair. I give you some, I get some in return. Maybe we should start saying to each other "I LOVE TRADE YOU BABE" because that is what relationships seem to have boiled down to. 

 Think about it, if everyone loved unconditionally, wouldn't the world be a much better place; wouldn't relationships be easier because everyone would be giving thus receiving?  

 " Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."  ~1 Cor 13:4-7~

Its not easy to love unconditionally, to give your all to someone and expect nothing in return, but it sure is not impossible. God does it and so do mothers... 

To my future husband (ignore the fact that I am not BIG on marriage): I pray that God teaches me to love unconditionally before I say "I do" to you! I pray that the greatest gift I will give to you is my unconditional love; that my heart will always be yours, my heart will always beat unconditonally for you... I trade love you!

Thursday, 19 May 2011


 “Let us be silent, that we may hear the whispers of the gods.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

To be silent is to know how to listen and not hear,
To be silent is to know when to speak
To be silent is to know how to listen to the inner you

To be silent is to listen to the hurt of another,
The hurt of yourself; 
Of your body,
Of your soul,
Of your spirit

To be silent is to submit,
To submit to evil,
To submit to complacency
To submit it so to listen to unspoken pain from the past,
Pain from a stranger,
Pain from a loved one,
Pain from blood

To be silent to is be strong
To be silent is to hope; hope that it all goes away
To hope that your past fades away as your present unfolds and your future believes

Seventeen years,
She chose to be silent, 
Until her silence killed the very essence of her being
Her present and future misted up
Misted up by the her broken spirit, her broken heart

Will it matter that she speaks now?

Saturday, 14 May 2011

Lost Comedy

Yesterday was Friday the 13th. I got stuck in a lift for 90 seconds; I could have sworn I was stuck for a year! Fortunately for me, I wasn't stuck in the lift with a man who wished that we were the only two people left in the world. It eventually started moving just before we called for help! The day before, my alter-ego was given a name BRANDY. :-) Last Sunday was Mother’s Day – and I am the kind of daughter, who did have something to say to her mother, except: “I love you and if I become half the woman you are to my children and my husband, I will have been truly blessed!” (That was the same thing I said last year)… She must have thought I sound like a broken record; but she is a mother, so she replied and said that was a sweet text and she was grateful. My siblings sent more original texts though. That encouraged me; that we are not bad kids. That was on a “light” note.

I think I once stated how much I loathe Nigerian movies, Spanish/Italian or Mexican soaps… Oh and there are new kids on the block, Chinese/Japanese (I can’t tell the difference). I cannot stand them! They are painful to watch, as painful as it would be to watch paint dry. For some weird reason our local television stations have been hypnotized to believe that they - the shows -  are all that and a bag of chips; and maybe they are for some people (God save their souls)

Truth is, there are few good shows anymore; if at all there are any! I miss watching “Full-house, Perfect Strangers (Cozin Larry & Barney), Wayans Brothers, Family Matters, My Wife and Kids, Parenthood, Fresh Prince of Belair, Police Academy, Kids say the Darndest Things, 227… Those were good days, when we could actually sing along to the tunes of these shows and know what we were saying, as opposed to mumbling to ridiculous Mexican tunes and getting all the words wrong! I miss good comedy; I miss good family shows… The shows we were never ashamed to watch with the folks around. The shows that taught us that sibling rivalry was a way OK but it was always better to solve the issue, the shows that taught us that we could do the impossible (like convert into a handsome guy using some machine), the shows that didn’t make us believe that every rich girl, is a manipulative little heifer that will do anything to get a man who has no love for her, the shows that didn’t make us think that men could read minds and thus understand a woman’s every need, the shows that cracked our ribs and literally made us ROLL OVER LAUGHING! I miss those shows… Those were some good old days; days I would give a lot to have back 

Have a perfect stranger, family matters, full house, and parenthood-like weekend!