Tuesday, 10 July 2012

Paper Love

I have been, for lack of a better word, struggling with writing in the recent past - "Struggling" because, of late, words come to me suddenly and they fail me just as fast. My phone has about ten drafts - ten incomplete drafts; some make sense, others, not so much. So in short, what I am trying to say is that I have been struggling with blogging. But despite my "struggles" this post has been lingering at the back of my head - itching to get out - for a long time now. You see I have a mild case of CDO (in case you're wondering what that is, it's  Obsessive Compulsive Disorder- OCD -in alphabetical order) :-) I love order... Heck! I live for order and perfection. Chaos is... just to chaotic for my liking! :)

In the midst of my struggle I found myself wondering why failure to post something every so often actually gives me sleepless nights... So, to cheat myself into sleeping, I began to write lame ass poetry... Then I thought about deleting this blog all together... But that seemed far too DRAMATIC & UNCALLED FOR...  And here I am... This post is a desperate call to myself for myself... 

I blog because writing means the world to me... My fingers are the most treasured part of my body.... and my mind and my heart. They are my writing. When I write I am in my element... I am drowned by my thoughts, by my emotions and by my words... My words are my release. Its kinda like farting after being bloated for hours... Not that I would know :p 

I write because; 

My words liberate me (Fungua Roho Yako...Ongea------> True Story)
I often need to communicate things that I cannot otherwise say out aloud.. 
Word play is waaay more fun on paper
Written words, unlike spoken words, can be taken back (read as deleted and/or edited)
Writing is escapism for me
My words are a fusion of my mind and my heart... and,

Sometimes, I use my words as a silent cry for help...

But most importantly: 

I write because PAPER HAS MORE PATIENCE THAN MOST PEOPLE; because paper will never tire to hear me out or get lost in my words... And because paper has more patience than people, I will continue to struggle with blogging/writing until I can struggle no more....