I have learned...

I'm turning a year older in a week or so *Excitement*... Ok, not really, and it has nothing to do with my age. I'm not one of those ladies who fret about their age, maybe its because I have never had someone call me old. Plus I blend in well with just about any age group. I can be whoever you want me to be, or at least I try.

A couple of weeks back, one of the most gifted writers I know, Bikozulu, wrote a post "What I have learned." This was by far one of the best pieces I have ever read, not because it was him who wrote it (no offence) but because of the sincerity and wisdom that came from that post. I am a true believer on the saying: "Learn from other people's experiences." If it was upto me, I would derive all of life lessons from other people. The down side of that would be that I am not living my life thus have nothing to learn. My life would not have any mistakes, which means I would not have taken any risks. I would rid myself of the opportunity to experience immense pain, exciting moments, indescribable joy... My life would be such a bore. Last week, perhaps influenced/inspired by Biko's post, I had one of those moments where I somewhat questioned the purpose of living/ existing. Don't get me wrong... I was not suicidal or having sinister thoughts on how I should take my own life. Far from it. I was having a pre-quarter evaluation of my life and thinking to myself, so now... Where do I go from here... At some point I wondered, where I had come from, figuratively speaking anyway.

So the conclusions of my thoughts:

I have learned that life will deal you anything and everything, irrespective of your age... That strength to go through life's hurdles does not come with age or time, it is innate; you either have it or you don't. I have learned that you can write learned or you can write learnt and you will still be grammatically correct. I have learned that it is not that hard to stand your ground in the midst of peer pressure. I have also learned that peer pressure, never ends (my folks have taught me that). I have learned that people who think you are better than them will always have something negative to say about you or a reason to prevent you from shinning. I have learned, very recently, that just because someone is your boss/older than you, it doesn't mean they are smarter than you... and most of the time there is nothing you can do about it! I have learned to be a (wo)MAN and SUCK IT UP when things are not within my control... On that same note, I have also learned that you can only "SUCK IT UP" for so long. It is ok to be selfish and it is ok to want to be happy, even if it doesn't make the people around you happy... I can assure you, there shall never be a time in this world when all the 7 Billion people in the world will be happy at the same time; so quit trying to make others happy at your expense.

I have learned that friendships are as complicated as relationships. I have learned to let go of friends, the crap about friends for a reason & season is true! I have learned that blood is not always thicker than water. I have learned that when they say family will always be there for you, they mean immediate family... Aunties, Cousins, Uncles... will not always be there. I have learned the truth in quote by Martin Luther King Jnr:  In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. This has been the hardest and most painful lesson to learn. Nothing sucks more than that. I have learned the God is everything in this world. He will do it, whatever you want, for you... Exceedingly, beyond more than we can ask or imagine! He is IT!!!! He will get you through whatever, whenever. I have also learned that God likes it when we give thanks to Him... I have learned that people are not always what they seem... They show you the side they want you to see then when they demolish your house, :-) you know their true colors. Lol! The problem with two-faced people is that you don't know which side to slap when you actually know them. I have learned that the government's objective is not to make our lives better but worse. I have learned to HATE Nairobi City Council and Kasarani Police Station. *Screw them* I have learned that Kenya does have untouchables and that money talks!

My father has taught me what the true character of a man is about. He has taught me the value of education (No, it's not overrated). He has taught me that it is ok to have a golden heart. He has taught me that you cannot fail to trust people because someone else hurt you/screwed you over. He has taught me that it is ok to spoil your children, in their old age. He has also taught me that men are not perfect, but he is just the right amount of perfect and imperfect for me! :-) My mother has taught me what it means to be a friend, a wife, a sister, a daughter and a mother. She has taught me what it means to be a WOMAN in a patriarchal society, how to keep your head up and your tears behind your eyelids and above how to always trust in God. My grandma, Esther, has taught me how I should love my children and grand-children, she has taught me to say much in few words (this post doesn't count).

Sandra has taught me that writing is the best thing that ever happened to me. Christine & my sister have taught me that it's never that serious and that parents will seldom approve of your relationship but at the end of the day, it's your choice.

I have learned to count up to 10 when I am angry. I have learned to think before I talk. I have learned that no experience in life comes without a lesson. I have learned how to love even when I am still angry... I have learned not to be fooled by a kiss or words from a man. I have learned that a man who wants to be with you will do or say just about anything to get you. I have learned that, though uncongenial, it is ok to date a guy your friend dated - at least if it's genuine and not out of malice.

I have learned to control my alcohol. I have learned that just because I am not where I want to be, at this point in my life, it doesn't mean I will never get there. I have learned to judge people by how the treat people less superior to them. I have learned that the jokes I laugh at reflect on my character- if you want to know the true character of a man, look at the jokes they laugh at. I have learned that I am stubborn and proper :-)

I have learned that sexual abusers should not define who you turn out to be. And this post has taught me: I still have a lot to learn from this thing called life!

A toast to: Love, True Friendships, Family and Life! :-)