I TRADE YOU...

This may very well be a premature conclusion seeing that I haven't conducted a research but being a woman, I think I have some authority to say that where two or more ladies are gathered, there will be relationship talk and advice being given and received. I don't know if the same (relationship talk) applies to men.

I always try to be careful what I say and what I wish for... Again, life has a way of being funny and I might just get the things I wish for; so i try to be very careful. I have said it before that I am not BIG on marriage and everything that comes with it; does that mean I don't want to get married? *Eeehh, I'm careful about what I say and wish for* ... Ask me that in about seven years.

I recently had an enlightening conversation with a stranger of sorts; and because we are both girls, we lived up to the aforementioned conclusion and candidly spoke about relationships, in a general fashion though. I can't remember her name but  we shall call her *Nyambu's friend. This girl is pretty young, probably 19 or 20. She spoke with such maturity and wisdom it made me wonder what cards life her dealt her to make her grow up so fast. I listened intensely as she spoke, mostly amazed at how much sense she was speaking. She too, is not big on marriage but she believes beyond any reasonable doubt that she wil have a fairy tale ending... A happily ever after.

As she spoke, she got me thinking about my relationships (friendships, family relationships, intimate relationships, work and my relationship with God); I thought about them in comparision to the kind of love that God has for His church, for His people! Its unconditional love. Unadulterated unconditional love. Whereas God expects us to follow His commandments and teachings, His love for us is not dependent on the former.The only other kind of love, that is closely similar to God's love is between a mother and her child. Its unconditional and ever giving.

In relationships, we love to give but we also love to receive just as much. We are wired to give and except to get something in equivalent or greater value in return. Often, relationships break because one party feels that they are giving much more than they are receiving. Love has become a trade affair. I give you some, I get some in return. Maybe we should start saying to each other "I LOVE TRADE YOU BABE" because that is what relationships seem to have boiled down to. 

 Think about it, if everyone loved unconditionally, wouldn't the world be a much better place; wouldn't relationships be easier because everyone would be giving thus receiving?  

  

 " Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."  ~1 Cor 13:4-7~

Its not easy to love unconditionally, to give your all to someone and expect nothing in return, but it sure is not impossible. God does it and so do mothers... 

To my future husband (ignore the fact that I am not BIG on marriage): I pray that God teaches me to love unconditionally before I say "I do" to you! I pray that the greatest gift I will give to you is my unconditional love; that my heart will always be yours, my heart will always beat unconditonally for you... I trade love you!

 

ONE RIB... THAT'S ALL YOU GET

I’m not particularly a big fan of the institution of marriage but I do dream (literally) of a happily ever after. I am however a HUGE fan of weddings; they make my eyes excrete and result in a lot of sniffing whilst holding a handkerchief. The sniffing and sweaty eyes is not because I think that they couple who are exchanging their vows and starring lovingly into their partners eyes are making the biggest mistake of their life; NO! It’s because I believe the fairy tale ending for them. In that moment I see it in their eyes that they will live happily ever after. So, it needs no mentioning that yesterday being Kate… oh sorry, she is CATHERINE now... CATHERINE & WILLIAM’s wedding I was makaratasi (read an emotional wreck, of sorts anyway). The vows… the bride’s gown, the little girls and of course WILLIAMS BROTHER… Hmmmmmmm :-) (Shall we have him on a silver platter, please?)

Moving on, someone stated that men were created polygamous and that’s why Mohammed advocated for Muslim men to have four wives… I’m no guru of Islam, but long long time ago when I was in campus, my lecturer actually said there is no such thing… He claimed that Mohammed asked, “if it is hard enough to love ONE woman and all her drama, what about FOUR?”, again, I am no Islam guru… I stand to be corrected. 

Anyway, when I heard him say that men were created polygamous beings I sighed so loudly, he mistook it for a yawn. Let’s us not even go to how my eyes nearly got stuck in my sockets because of how hard I rolled them... That to me was just a bunch of BS! Why? Eeerrrm, let’s see!?! The Good Book - The Bible, one of my favorite books, says that when God created Adam and Eve, he took ONE RIB out of Adam and used it to make Eve. Is my point home yet? Yes? Good!... No? *Sigh*

ONE RIB, NOT TWO!!! Man was not created polygamous! Neither was a woman by the way since she was not molded from two halves of a rib from two different men. Besides, in the words of my friend Sandra: “Why would God be so CRUEL as to make a commandment against something He created?” Why would God, assuming that man was created polygamous, then give a commandment like, DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY? C’mon people!!! 

ONE RIB!!! That’s all you get! ONE RIB! If it isn't your ideal matching rib, suck it up! Life is not always about getting what you want but what you need; besides even donor organs sometimes resist the hosts' body for a few days before getting a hang of their new system!

ONE RIB!!!! ONE RIB = ONE (WO)MAN!!!

PERIOD!!!

If you have A RIB, enjoy it this weekend! 

On a lighter note,I have a niece, Leila. She is the happiest baby I know… YET, and  I have had the fabulous honor of baby-sitting this entire week. She has FOUR teeth! The joys of having a kid around the house… INCREDIBLE!!! Watching her eat her FEET this week… Well, *Utter bliss* 

Auntie Shilo loves you! :* 

Jumping in the rain

The thing about having a blog is that when a follower ask you to write about something.... You kind of have to do it but  lets not make it a habit eh?!? :-) 

Random question? When was the last time you played in the rain with a friend, spouse, or sibling? Do you remember how much fun that was?

So anyway, I got an text today. A friend wanted me to write about the topic that Maina Kageni and Churchill (spelling his radio stage name is a task given my cultural background, hence Churchill and not Kinganga... yeah that one). Anyhow, my phone is always tuned in to one frequency and no its not classic, God knows its not KISS Fm (Catch me dead. Its nothing personal by the way)... Yes, yes yes I am a die hard Capital FM fan. Like literally, I'd take a bullet for  the team, maybe excluding CK but hey! Moving on swiftly... I had no idea what the debate on Classic was and I was not going to subject my phone to some treacherous stuff. That said, my friend still went ahead and told me how the show was about men and women (whats new???) and some drama about men throwing women out of home and the latter refusing to be thrown out (Girl Power MY BLACK PALM!!!) and the men plotting to sell the houses behind the women's backs (And apparently women are back-stabbing female dogs) blah! blah! blah! Granted that I was not listening to Classic and I was not going to betray DJ Adrian's Friday Flight Mix, I hope you can forgive my gross misrepresentation of the facts of the topic. But the little I was told got me thinking... Really?!? We - men and women - have stopped to this level. Really? Women empowerment MY BLACK PLANTAR FASCIA (Read Sole).

Refer to an earlier post http://wwwladyaiyanna.blogspot.com/2011/04/tatas-cocktail-happiness.html .

These women and men who are literally driving each other up the wall have too much energy and me thinketh its been channeled in the wrong places. Seriously, wouldn't it be much for fun to go fly a kite (its been a while eh?) or jump in the rain rather than persistently plan on how to make someones life miserable?!? Really? This thing people call love. Love is a rumor to some people or perhaps their definition of love is the equivalent of getting all cuddled up *wink* and seeing as to how women are rumored to always have headaches at night *Ka-ching ching* then love or rather that messed up definition of love is thrown out the window!

Anyhow, bottom line is this: In love or not, your happiness cannot be determined by what others do or don't do! To those men and women who breathe, live, think and dream about making their "sweethearts" miserable... GET A DAMN LIFE  AND PURSUE HAPPINESS!!! Take one step at a time.. Its drizzling now... Go out and play in the rain with your dog, cat, parrot, rat, roach... whatever! Just do something that makes you happy.

In the word of a wise man:  

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~Abraham Lincoln~

The Independence Paradox

It must be difficult being a man today; a straight man anyway... Not that I would know anything about it. The expectations of society on the oh so needed martian species are demanding, to say the very least. He  is expected to do more than just provide, protect, to be as romantic,if not more, as any Nicolas or Alejandro Kenyan women watch on TV... Blah! Blah! Blah! 

The only problem with these expectations is that the woman today is either at per with the man in her life or way ahead. You see girls grow up being indoctrinated with sayings such as what a man can do, a girl can do better! Hence the dilemma in today's society. Women are practically taking good care of themselves; at least the so called "independent woman" is. 

Whilst these women exhumes independence that perhaps only Obama has :), turns more heads than her mother has in her lifetime, she remains a woman at the end of the day... Therefore, she is independent insofar as material things are concerned; Emotionally??? That's a new topic all together. This independent woman may proclaim that she doesn't need a man for anything. In fact many, myself included, have at one point or another shouted that statement off the top of our lungs (or told it to a girlfriend), whether after a relationship gone bad, a random girls night out (read venting session on the man in or who have been in our lives; fathers, brothers, random flings, boyfriends e.t.c.), or in our happy-alcohol-induced-state of minds.Yet, this is the same independent woman who glows a little bit more when flirting with a man whom she likes (and he pretends to like her), this is the woman who when going out to meet her girls, will probably wear something nice so that her girls can go uuuuuuu lala lala about her look; and when going out on a date will look extra nice to impress the man... Independence is as vague a concept as the concept of Self-Actualization by Abraham Maslow... It cannot be achieved entirely 100%. Women have advanced past needing men for material things and men seem to have missed out on the memo. They are at a point where the man in her life needs to give her "the alleged rubbish" that Alejandro, Nicolas or whoever in those Mexican soaps gives to those Mexican women.

So for women, who are brave enough to get married, the most important thing for them during their vows is: "TO LOVE AND TO HOLD, FROM THIS DAY FORWARD TILL DEATH DO US PART". For women who are unmarried but committed, its the sweet-nothings (read common compliments showered to women by men) that matter to them; with the hopeful yet doubtful expectation of marriage or a wedding.

Its hard being a man today because being a man today means that you work extra hard to give your lady more than material things... Heck, if you meet and satisfy her emotional needs and your broke and she is not, there is a higher probability of her staying with you than the alternative martian who consistently takes her out on dinner dates and then tells her at the end of the month she needs to loose some weight because she's become fat! 

The woman today is quite an enigma; but it is never really that hard to unravel her. Its as simple as be better than she, financially, and give her some T.L.C.

Diclaimer: I have ABSOLUTELY NO STOMACH for Mexican soaps. :)